Chapter 20

Building Blocks

Every day I went to work just excited to be making money but dreading the guys I worked with. There was one guy Charles, that I enjoyed working with on my Sunday shifts because he was in it to just keep busy like myself. The first day  we worked together by ourselves he approached me and respectfully introduced himself formally and asked if I was willing to do pieces for less than what the guys usually quoted. I knew right then he was on the same page.

The guys usually would price extremely high in my taste and it left a lot of downtime since you would have to wait until they got their price met to get through rotation. Some days I wouldn’t tattoo until the end of my day. It was extremely annoying to watch so much money walk out the door because of their ignorance and egos. After a while I got used to their antics and noticed how to speed up the process a little by getting there before everyone else so that I could be first on rotation.

In all the years dealing with my family and their issues one of my biggest fears I guess you could call it {because it was more like a trigger of anxiety for me} was running into a victims family member of my family’s carnage. Well, while working at the shop one day as luck would have it, I got a customer that her and her new husband decided to get in the chair. Leah was a sweet girl and her husband was Super nice. They were both smiles and chatty as they settled into my chair. As the session started underway we talked randomly about their honeymoon they were currently on and then I asked where they were from since the counter kids usually did the paperwork. As Leah tells me that she and her husband grew up in the town next to my hometown I slightly wondered how we hadn’t crossed paths before. Then she mentioned her brothers and that’s when the pieces started to fall into place. I started trying to skirt telling her my last name because I was already almost certain I had heard her family name before when she finally asked me my family’s name. As soon as my last name crossed my lips you could feel the energy change. Leah went quiet. I took that as my cue to face the hell of whatever my family had done. “Look, I can tell you realize who my family was, and whatever they did to your family, I’m truly sorry but I don’t deal with my Family for that exact reason.” You could almost hear her stomach drop. She looked at me and asked about my mother by name. “Patti is your mom and Jane is your grandmother right?” Ugh…here it comes. “Yes, that’s them” She looked at her husband and I could see her calculating what to say next. ” You don’t talk to them anymore?” Leah asked. ” No, I haven’t spoken to them in over a year for my mother and 3 for my grandmother, again please, whatever they did, know I am sorry, my family is shitty and they have done some terrible things to people.” She relaxed a little and she explained… ” My family would lose their shit right now if they knew I was talking to you, your family is the whole reason my uncle is in protective custody” And there it was. Her Uncle had testified against my step dad “the hitman” and in doing so they were now in hiding. Yep.. way to go family… Nothing like making my life interesting even when I wanted nothing to do with it all. “Look I know they did their shit but your family is safe with me, I don’t blame them for doing what needed to be done.” Leah relaxed and we shared a smile at the odds of fate throwing us together in a new city and half a country away.  By the end of their tattoos we were smiling and exchanging numbers to keep in touch. We were repairing the damage done by fear in both of our lives.

That night when I went home Joe and I talked about how no matter what was coming I already felt as if this would be a new start on life.

With all of these new starts on the horizon, we started talking about our marriage. We both knew there wouldn’t be anyone on my side since family was not an option. I had asked D if he would do me the honor of walking me down the isle when Joe and I had gotten engaged but after that phone call he had ghosted me and cut off all communication. I hated that but I figured it had to do with either Angie or his own issues. I never really had anyone else close enough that I still was in contact with besides my uncle John but we weren’t in contact. I always envied those large wedding photos you’d see. I always wondered how they could have that many people close to them when I couldn’t even keep 5 people around very long.

After going through all of the realities of how many really wouldn’t show up we both agreed it was just better to elope or do a small ceremony. We agreed to wait until Halloween since we both loved that holiday and it would give me time to dress shop. I told Cindy and she agreed to fly out for the wedding for the weekend. I now focused on the venue and the dress.

Every night after work we would try to do anything that cost as little as possible. I looked into a new diet to help get rid of my weight I had gained from all the stress and we were trying to eat more at home to ensure the most for our savings. We walked nightly and took Slater to the pool and park constantly on the days off.

It was only 3 weeks into my diet when I noticed changes. I was losing a little weight, but I started getting acne and my body was more stiff. After getting rid of a few items in the diet it got better but I still had issues with my PCOS flaring up more. 

The wedding plans went on. I found a dress and a place to rent Joe’s suit and booked the location. Everything was working its way out. We were saving to move into an apartment and planned on moving after the wedding. I was so excited to try on the dress for my fitting. I lost a little weight and even though it wasn’t substantial, I was happy to at least see a little progress. In all the plans the only thing I really felt was lacking was any support system. Joe was the only support I had in reality. Joe’s family really only played nice but I could tell I was not what they really wanted for him. Cindy was a friend to talk to but she really was more centered on what she was wearing and what not than anything for me. Even when it came down to the day of the wedding she had her mind occupied with what she wanted to look like and left me to do my hair alone and even putting on my dress was a little tricky since I didn’t have help with the corset. We had invited some of the counter kids from the shop since they were the only people that we had befriended.

Young Blood was one of the counter kids that was a young cocky kid that had a great sense of humor. He and I clicked in the shop when the guys threw a fit and had me moved to the slower shop not realizing I would still make money. Young Blood saw the attitudes everyone gave me and realized I didn’t care and loved to piss the other guys off just like I did. We got along quickly.

Young Blood brought a new girlfriend and she was the one who ended up helping me with my corset while Cindy fiddled with Slater’s hair and made herself busy. 

We all loaded up in the truck and went to the Wedding chapel to tie the knot and by the end of it all it was a whirlwind of vows and pictures then off to the restaurant I reserved for the dinner . There were only 7 of us in total and I planned on a table full of appetizers to go with the wedding cake I had made the day before . We ate, had a few drinks and then feasted on the cake and shared the rest of my wedding cake with the kitchen staff.

We went back to the room that night and smiled at the events of the day. It was simple and quick with just the few people that bothered to show but It was nice. Joe’s family was given a website to join in the event since no one was able to come out to Vegas, and in all honesty I didn’t mind them not being there. Joe’s mother had a cold shoulder to me most of the time we had met up. No matter how many times I tried to brush it off I was still the undesired pick for her son and I knew it. He didn’t care or didn’t pay attention to the distance she mentally put there so neither did I. 

After the wedding Cindy went home and life went back to work. We slowly started getting everything together for the apartment we were trying rent and I kept on my diet to try to lose more weight. We had adopted a puppy to add to the family and Slater was in a blissful mindset.

It was around Thanksgiving when Cindy started calling almost weekly for money towards the truck. I had paid her monthly and would send money when she needed it to help with her mother. We registered her truck in Vegas for her that week and had paid over $800 to get the Tag and everything switched with her name on it all. So when she called just a few days later asking for another truck payment after I had just sent her one the week before, red flags started flying.

Cindy had been using the money for her own things and our mutual friend and I realized she was using both of us for money and not having to pay for much between both of us.  That was the final straw with her. I took her truck and dropped it off at her local friends place with the keys and told Cindy she could figure it all out when she moved out since she still hadn’t given us a date.

Within a week we had a Used Suburban I found on Craigslist and moved into the new apartment. I had found an apartment right next to an elementary school that was a 3 bedroom 2 bath on the second floor. It was just the perfect size for us and enough room for either guests or a roommate. It was almost a month into living in the apartment when I realized the diet I was on was not serving me well. I had concerns that my body was out of whack when I called an old acquaintance that I had worked with when I was at the Grocery store as a front end cashier. She had Health issues that showed up in the same alignment with what I was experiencing. I talked to her about my concerns and we agreed I needed to revise some of my diet.

The next week I did my accent into a Gluten free diet. I started noticing the benefits slowly and it was almost a month before I really noticed the true levity of my decision. I had lost over 25 pounds and no longer had symptoms of my PCOS. After 3 months in, I was now almost 80 pounds lighter with no more acne or pain. It gave me a whole new lease on life. My energy had shot through the roof so much that Joe would complain for me to sit down and stop doing things. Joe had made some changes when we ate but I was still making him separate things and still buying him regular things like bread and sauces. Slater was still eating fairly normal like Joe so my eating became a little more of an inconvenience to everyone else. I would cheat from time to time but every time I did I always felt the difference. It wasn’t until Joe and I both reacted to some chocolates from Valentines Day that we both decided it was time to really pay attention more to what we were eating.