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My end game for writing this.

I want you to realize that I don’t tell you about all of this to revel in my trauma. I don’t tell this all to you so that you could feel sorry for me. I didn’t tell you this to make you feel like you’re crazy for your life experiences being less or similar.
Because, you see, I’m not sorry for even one second of it. If I had to do it all over again I would.

Every single person that turned their back on me, every back stab, every double cross,every one that thought less of me, every family member that used me ,ignored me, every person that thought I was crazy ; I am truly thankful for the experience.

In the long run every single one of them taught me to be stronger, taught me to be smarter, taught me to be a better human being by showing me who they were in clear vision. Each person that let me down, taught me to be more independent and be true to my words. Each time no one stood up for me, it taught me to stand up for myself and others with more vigilance and passion. With every trial came a lesson and with every relationship fail came the great truth that they were never meant for me.  Every one of those failed relationships showed me that they were only meant to help me realize my own true potential by in some way helping to be my teather to sanity. Every single person that hurt me only drove me to prove that they were wrong either of their perception of me or their status in my life.
I learned to never fight for something that walked away because it was never for me. I learned that some days I may feel crazy but those are the days that I need to put that hat on and stand tall and proud in my crazy because then and only then I would shine as the ring leader of this shit show called life.
In the end no matter what I should always be proud of being thought as crazy to those that have No clue as to what I’ve accomplished because of those severed ties or allegations. It was all my drive to thrive.

For every person that stood by me, helped me in my darkest moments or was a pure friend,I found the ultimate love and respect in the truest form. They are my tribe and they helped this circus continue on days where I was ready to throw in the towel. They were witnesses to things that made me question my sanity more times than I can count and just buy being witnesses they gave me clarity. They saw the true soldier that had been drug thru the mud and lent me a knowing eye or smile when I was ready to throw in that towel. We were birds of a feather in many ways and understand eachothers fight.

So now I take a bow and allow your thoughts to veer to your own circus so that you may finally realize your accomplishments that have delivered themselves in the termoils of your helacious life.
And as you get up every morning and get ready for your day just know somewhere I’m doing the same thing you are. I’m laying in bed talking myself into picking my clothes for the day . Ones that I feel the most comfortable in for the daily battle. Once I’m up, I’m looking in that bathroom or bedroom mirror fixing my outfit and straightening my hat for the next performance of the shit show circus just like you. So let’s make this a good performance and just show up.
The audience is waiting to see what lies in the next performance. And no matter what, This Warrior is ready for the crowd.

And for those passerbys that make their snide comments or Believe themselves to be better than you, remember to smile wide, because it’s only their ignorance that makes them act as such. In the long run they are only there to see the carnival for the short time it’s in their corner of the world and as the ring leader of your shit show only you know what’s out there beyond their bubble.

So without further wait, please grab your cup of tea and sit with me and learn what events in my life brought me to this site to spoil my life for the masses.

And when you think that this is all lies, do yourself a favor and just Google some of the basic information.

Warning beforehand:

Some content is triggering and may not be for everyone, but so is life so please just have grace and understand I don’t need your approval I’m merely sharing my story.